Musings

Epitome of Emotion – Shawl woven in less than 12 hours after my daughter collapsed unconscious and was rushed to the emergency room. She is all better now! xoxox

The funny thing about having a muse – sometimes you feel compelled to write, know you need to, but just can’t.  With too much going on, the brain has too much to process and it becomes hard to visualize, let alone verbalize what it is that is going on.  And the back story … how much of it do you tell to get the point across?  If it is a matter too close to the heart you are too emotional, and end up explaining more than you need to.  It gets so overwhelming you stop before you even have the chance to start.

I am not an overly outgoing person.  Aside from initial pleasantries upon greeting someone, I have a very hard time making small talk.  I honestly do not see the point in emphasizing my falsified answer of how my day is, how I’m feeling, or how my family is.  Maybe it’s a personality thing; maybe it’s due to my upbringing.  Regardless, opening the shop has been the ultimate test to my resolve.

So when I can’t verbalize, I create.  To either cope with what is going on, think about a situation until I come to a resolution, or … out of absolute boredom.  If it is an emotional vestibule, you can typically tell because the end product is churned out in less than 24-hours.

So much has happened since I’ve opened the shop, I don’t know where to begin.  The multitude of people, personalities and experiences has been as tormenting as it has been enlightening.  Some days I want to give up and hide in my pjs at home on my website.  Other times I want to stand proud, continue on in my little corner of the world and diligently work.   The first year is a tumultuous time for any shop – with constant lessons learned and mistakes made.  Yes, I am human, and I have faults.  I’ve trusted the wrong people, invested, gave chances and the benefit of the doubt when I know I shouldn’t have.  I even learned how to mentally edit what I want to say and politely stand up for myself and my artists.

The flip side is I have made some incredible connections; opportunities have literally fallen in my lap unexplained.  Honestly, the store itself and how it came to be is a series of amazing events I couldn’t have planned even if I tried.  I’ve made happy mistakes, and slid into “home” every time.  I’ve met some amazing people who have had some heartfelt moments and whom have also created some heartache –  a love/hate relationship, indeed.

The proud moments and positive accidents make it worth it.  “Just keep spinning, just keep spinning!”

So thank you all for making this journey with me.  It’s been a wild ride, and I have no idea where we are going but we are not done yet!