I really try hard not to be that parent. You know the one, that interferes with their kid’s practice, distracting the student and teacher? I typically sit, keep to myself, knit, and observe. This last time, however, I couldn’t help but to share one of my “mama moments” with you.
Instructor: “You don’t have to bend at the knees that far for horseriding stance. Haven’t you ever ridden a horse before?”
Peanut: “No. <insert pause, with thoughtfulness> Well, actually, I do ride a horse all the time at Chuck E. Cheese.”
Knowing that she was referring to a mechanized video game, I couldn’t stifle that laugh. My little one promptly turned around and glared at me accordingly. Maybe we all are that parent whether we want to be or not.
Whether shouted from the mountain top of the person who was wronged, or whispered in the dark behind closed doors, that one word causes pit-in-the-stomach dread and cringing all at the same time.
There are so many varying degrees of it. Just being in the position and flirting with disaster. There’s the one time deal. The prolonged relationship. The second life, second family. Does one constitute all with the same consequences?
I know that regardless of the severity, they are all judged harshly. Sometimes, just an unsubstantiated rumor is enough to lose friends and alienate couples. I read once, that it is often seen as a “catchable disease” and that just knowing someone who has done it will spread plague to other spouses. That is probably the silliest thing I have read, but also the most accurate I’ve seen in experiences. Hindsight being 20/20, if that is the way you feel, I am glad we would have parted ways!
That is not to say it doesn’t cause soul wrenching defeat and despaired hurt. I am not a fan of public accusations and group witch hunts, no matter how wronged you’ve been (although I do have to stifle the immature giggling side of myself sometimes).
What I am saying, is that I have evolved as a human being to understand that stuff, sometimes no matter how hard we try, just happens. Especially when you truly love someone despite their faults.
As a military spouse, you are prone to different hardships. This includes not seeing your significant other for over a year due to deployments. Is it okay if bumps in the road occur throughout the involuntary separation if they are based a primal, physical need and mean nothing? What about those service members who spend a 50/50 split between home and overseas, always deploying to the same area with a second family?
Even better – what happens if these were known, understood and accepted? What happens if it is both an emotionally and physically healthy relationship where it happened, it hurts, you understand and move on. We are, after all, human. Companionship, physical touch – even babies are known to have a shorter lifespan without it. Why should it be any different as adults?
In a world where cheating is seen as so persecutory and bad, where open relationships are scoffed and the happily ever after standard is the next best Disney movie in the theaters, maybe that is where we are going wrong. That we are living up to these unrealistic fairy tale expectations and forgetting the fact that it is make believe to begin with.
While I don’t advocate going behind a partner’s back and doing things, I also understand humanity and realistic expectations. Marriage is hard and there is no “book” that will give you the answer to solve all of your hardships. Do what works for you and your marriage, because someone is always going to judge you no matter if it is “right”.
At the end of the day, it’s just the two of you. Let that be all that matters.
The funny thing about having a muse – sometimes you feel compelled to write, know you need to, but just can’t. With too much going on, the brain has too much to process and it becomes hard to visualize, let alone verbalize what it is that is going on. And the back story … how much of it do you tell to get the point across? If it is a matter too close to the heart you are too emotional, and end up explaining more than you need to. It gets so overwhelming you stop before you even have the chance to start.
I am not an overly outgoing person. Aside from initial pleasantries upon greeting someone, I have a very hard time making small talk. I honestly do not see the point in emphasizing my falsified answer of how my day is, how I’m feeling, or how my family is. Maybe it’s a personality thing; maybe it’s due to my upbringing. Regardless, opening the shop has been the ultimate test to my resolve.
So when I can’t verbalize, I create. To either cope with what is going on, think about a situation until I come to a resolution, or … out of absolute boredom. If it is an emotional vestibule, you can typically tell because the end product is churned out in less than 24-hours.
So much has happened since I’ve opened the shop, I don’t know where to begin. The multitude of people, personalities and experiences has been as tormenting as it has been enlightening. Some days I want to give up and hide in my pjs at home on my website. Other times I want to stand proud, continue on in my little corner of the world and diligently work. The first year is a tumultuous time for any shop – with constant lessons learned and mistakes made. Yes, I am human, and I have faults. I’ve trusted the wrong people, invested, gave chances and the benefit of the doubt when I know I shouldn’t have. I even learned how to mentally edit what I want to say and politely stand up for myself and my artists.
The flip side is I have made some incredible connections; opportunities have literally fallen in my lap unexplained. Honestly, the store itself and how it came to be is a series of amazing events I couldn’t have planned even if I tried. I’ve made happy mistakes, and slid into “home” every time. I’ve met some amazing people who have had some heartfelt moments and whom have also created some heartache – a love/hate relationship, indeed.
The proud moments and positive accidents make it worth it. “Just keep spinning, just keep spinning!”
So thank you all for making this journey with me. It’s been a wild ride, and I have no idea where we are going but we are not done yet!
Fiber friends… January 25th … mark your calendars!! Peaknits will be hosting it’s first “Spin In” from 7pm Saturday until … 7pm Sunday. Grab your pj’s and some munchies, and of course your fiber stash ….
For this fun-filled 24-hour window, you’ll get 10% off all fiber related items in the shop (fleece, fiber bar, roving, etc) and free all-night-access to equipment such as the drum carder, double row combs, and hand carders; and lets not forget, spinning wheels too!! Thinking about perfecting your technique, or perhaps learn about Navajo plying? No problem! I’ll be there all night to demonstrate and help you.
Space is limited and is first-come, first-served, so pre-registration is a must. This event is $50 per person. Stay an hour, or stay all night, the choice is yours!!
We look forward to spinning the night with you!
Things have been busy at the shop, and I just wanted to thank each and every one of you for all of your kind words and encouragement since we opened in August.
To do a little planning ahead, I decided to put out a schedule of classes for next month. If you’ve already taken the class, don’t worry! You can still come in for some studio time and work (that nuno felting takes up a lot of room and supplies, so why don’t you come in and use ours)!
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Please remember that space in the shop is limited, as it gets very crowded with more than four people, especially if you need a table workspace for the nuno.
Even if you know what you’re doing and don’t need the class, I would love your company! Good conversation is always greatly appreciated, so stop on by. Grab your work in progress and let’s get something made!
We Did It! And without all of your love and support we really couldn’t have done it without you. Peaknits is the proud winner of Military Spouse Business Association’s 1st Annual Red, White and Blue Awards. All of the daily voting, reminders, shares, and simply taking the time to acknowledge our little corner of the world added up. THANK YOU!
In addition to receiving the award and grant, it also gave us the boost of confidence we needed to venture out more. Now, every Thursday, we can be found at our booth at the Farmer’s Market in Laurel, Maryland. Our first booth was such a great experience, and we received such a warm welcome from everyone – the Board of Trade, other local farmers and vendors, and new customers! I only wish we had done it sooner!
We also opened up a store in Savage Mills. Themed around handspinning, knitting and weaving – this is a no pressure sales environment where you can come in, sit, and bring in your most current work in progress. Have questions, or want to learn more? We also offer classes that are geared towards renting or buying gently used equipment to fit the fiber artist on a budget. Come on in, say hello and enter our vendor sponsored giveaway – our grand opening is on October 11th!